Who I Am

I am a mother. And a wife. A daughter and a sister.

I am a teacher and a writer.

I like to take a lot of photographs. And I like to share them near compulsively on Facebook. I want to record these times, fleeting as they are, and the only ways I know how to do that are through pictures and words.

I think a lot. Oftentimes too much. I like to analyze things. I despise the idea of having lived life without ever really have reflected on it. That’s the number one reason I have this blog. I don’t know how to think clearly without writing, and having a blog gives me an outlet for that. And it holds me accountable for that.

And it makes me feel less alone.

And it also reminds me that I’m a person with feelings and needs, wishes and desires. Too often, I think, especially as moms, we tend to ignore what is going on inside our own heads and hearts as we navigate through this crazy world. We can forget that people exist inside our purpose driven bodies. We aren’t machines. And writing helps me remember that, beneath it all, I am a person, no more or less than any other.

If I could meet any person who ever existed, I would meet my grandma when she was my age. My grandma was in her sixties when I was born. I never knew her young. And I would have liked to.

I am overly sensitive. If you say something that hurts my feelings, it will go deep. Sometimes it feels like I don’t have any protection against the outer world — it all goes straight in.

And I think I assume everyone else is as sensitive as I am, and as such, I worry compulsively about hurting others’ feelings. Luckily, most people are more durable than I am. Luckily for them at least.

I like reading books — both for myself and to my girls. I’m desperately trying to embrace my ereader, but it’s not the same. Still, I have no room for thousands of books, so I proceed. I’m currently reading The Paris Wife (and have been for awhile,) A Dummie’s Guide to MacBook Pro, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, A First Rate Madness, and Gripped by the Greatness of God.. I can’t stand to only read one book at a time.

I like watching mindless television. The more vapid and sensationalist a show is, the more likely I am to watch it. I think All My Children and Friends are the two greatest shows ever produced, and New Girl might one day be added to that short list.

I also like watching movies, but with those, I am a bit more discerning.

I love listening to music. It goes straight to my soul. I’m a big fan of old country music (Willie, Hank, Bellamy Brothers, and Garth) and some new country music (Taylor Swift, Zac Brown). I’m a new fan of the band Fun. and their song, “Carry On,” is my new anthem. Just last night I rocked Mae to sleep to “City of New Orleans.” My daughters have excellent taste in music.

I love learning about how children learn to read. I plan to earn a doctorate in language and literacy once my children are in school. I used to be an adult literacy volunteer, and I once led a discussion group for people who don’t speak English. I want to do that again.

I have a wicked temper. I fly off the handle in an instant. And then I feel intense remorse and beg for forgiveness that has already been given. It’s probably pathological. It’s illogical at best.

I am incredibly inpatient when it comes to nearly anything. I hate lines, ignorance, and people who waste my time.

However, I am very patient when it comes to explaining grammatical concepts. With that, I have an almost superhuman level of patience. The only time I laughed at a student answer (and I still regret this) was when a student was arguing that “James” is the plural of “Jim.” Luckily he quickly realized his error and laughed as well. I apologized for a week.

Somewhere along the way, I’ve become a techie. I love new gadgets. If something can be done on an iPhone (like compose this post ,) I want to do it. My iPad is glued to my side. As a non-digital native, however, it all feels a bit unnatural. I trust I’ll learn. However, it may require me throwing a few very expensive electronics through the window in frustration. (See paragraph above regarding anger.)

I feel like a day has been productive if I have spent time connecting one on one with all of my girls and my husband. But I also need a little bit of traditional “productive time” getting tangible results in order to feel at peace. And in order to really feel balance, I need to have interacted creatively with words in some manner, either through writing, listening to music, or reading another’s words.

You might wonder why I have spent all this space telling you about myself. It’s because of this lady…

She created a link up asking moms to tell about themselves and to refuse to categorize themselves as “just a mum.” Because we are all more than that.

Who are you? I would love to know.