To My Girls

I think life has a way of smoothing out our edges.   Over the course of a lifetime, we become homogenized.  Some of our bad habits get etched away by the years but also some of what makes us most unique gets reduced a bit as well.

And I think that’s the reason that it’s my daughters’ strengths that keep me up at night rather than their weaknesses.  Weaknesses can be overcome.  They can be compensated for.  But their strengths are so precious, to me at least, that I want to help them maintain them in the midst of this cold world.

I look at Magoo, and I see the sparkle in her eye.  I see how she insists on wearing stickers (gems) on her fingers to school.  I see how she twirls with such flair, with such abandon, at dance class as if no one in the world is watching.  I see the excitement in her eyes as she shows her friends the bracelet she spent so many hours working on.  And I sit there holding my breath, praying that her pride in her work won’t be shattered by a heartless comment or a disapproving glare.

And then I look at my Goose.  My passionate, live out loud, all in Goosie.  And I know the world might not always be kind to her.  It can be hard to live so intensely.  It can be so hard to blend in when you are so full of passion and excitement and joy.  She’s not the wallflower.  She’s not the demure little girl with her hands clasped on her lap.  And I fear the disapproving glances of those who want to tame her spirit.

And it breaks my heart.

Because I know that life will wear away those rough edges.  It will dampen the sparkle; it will lower the intensity.

And I am so very excited to watch my girls grow up into young women.  But that one part, watching them cast off parts of their youthful spirit as the years roll by, breaks this mama’s heart.

Because when you are a mom, those are the most precious gifts: those glimpses into your children’s souls.  Their pure, unadulterated, God-given spirits, untamed and unrefined by the years.

And so if I could leave my girls with one lesson, it would be from one of my favorite songs as a teenager,

“If I could tell the world just one thing it would be we’re all okay

And not to worry cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these

I won’t be made useless

Won’t be idle with despair

I will gather myself around my faith

For light the darkness most fears

My hands are small, I know, but they’re not yours, they are my own

And I am never broken.” (“Hands,” Jewel)

To my girls,

The world will tell you that you are broken.  That your spirit too large, your sparkle too bright.  It will tell you to taper it down, numb the parts of yourself that speak the loudest.

It will tell you that it is better to be seen and not heard.  And that what is seen had better be perfect.

It will tell you that temperance and mild manners are what you should strive for.

And you’ll have to make your own decisions.

You will have to decide how to marry your desire to fit in with your spirit’s desire for authenticity.

But remember the decision lies in your hands.  You decide who you will be.  What you will be.  No one else can decide how you should live your life.

I’m just grateful that I get a front row seat.