The Breath of God

About nine years ago, Magoo and I were driving to a local mall. I needed to turn left. The left turn arrow turned green, and I went. At the same time that I went, the driver from the uncoming traffic blew his red light and came speeding towards my smallish car. I swerved, and I did a maneuver that I normally wouldn’t do in that circumstance. Because I did, the car missed us by inches.

I saw the car scream past, and my only thought was, “Thank you, Grandma.” There wasn’t a moment to think, or a moment to process. I just knew that it was her that pushed me towards the actions that I did.

I don’t remember that moment because of the near accident. Those happen frequently enough. I remember it because I remember her presence, her very real presence in my life from the other side of the veil.

I’ve had other similar situations.

When my husband was in the ICU, I could feel Mary’s presence lifting me up. I don’t believe I would have made it through that night in that very dark and very lonely unit if she had not been willing me forward every moment. Keeping me from stopping. Keeping me from giving into the fear. Keeping me from melting.

And I’ve felt it in good times too. There have been a few gifts this year that I knew were sent from God. These aren’t big realizations with lightening and soul stirring emotion. Rather, they are calm and peaceful breaths that come over me, and I know it is the breath of God.

We seem all alone here on this planet. It seems like what is most real is what we can most see and feel and touch. We are sensual people, and we trust most what we perceive through our sense.

But I’m not convinced that our senses are our greatest arbiters of reality. I think we are better served to look deeper and beyond what it is that we see.

And I share these stories not to convince people that God will speak to them in powerful and obvious ways. The most holy that have come before us often speak of dark times where they could not perceive God as being there at all. And yet their faith remains. Just because we don’t feel or perceive God does not mean that he is not there loving us and supporting us all the way.

I actually think that perhaps the reason God has spoken to me in ways I can perceive is because my belief is so weak. He knows the doubts I have and the questions I have and the very difficult times I have trusting. Because he knows this, I think he gives me a little extra grace sometimes to see him. I think of them almost as spiritual training wheels.

But what isn’t deniable is that God loves us.

Our priest at Mass this morning talked about asking God to be our vision. And that is what I pray for myself and for my loved ones and for all of you. I pray that you can see with the vision of God so that you can see all that is real and trust all that is real and follow all that is real.

Let’s all open our eyes today and look around. Look for the breath of God. Look at his creation. Look at what he created within ourselves. And then let’s breath a sigh of thanksgiving back to him for all grandeur that is around us.