Making Home

Homemaker. The word always made me a little wary. It’s not the word itself; it stems from two perfectly fine words: home and maker. The problem also isn’t the job description associated with it: cooking, cleaning, raising children, doing laundry. If that job description were so bad, then every mother in America would be in trouble because all mothers (stay at home, working, biological, adoptive, foster, and probably even canine) have to do these things. They are a part of life.

No, the problem is with the association. The word implies docility, complacency, and feeble-mindedness. It also carries with it the implication that all its owner does is clean and cook and raise children. It’s not creative. It is not an intellectual activity, and it is not what I want to be.

Or is it?

To be quite honest, the part of mothering that is most difficult for me is staying organized and keeping our home functioning properly. Magoo wore socks to dance class today because one of her ballet slippers is MIA and has been for two weeks. The Goose hasn’t worn matching socks in about a month. We eat out way too often, and you literally cannot take more than one step in our play room without stepping on and probably breaking something (either a toy or a bone.) And this isn’t working for me.

I guess I always saw my primary role as a stay at home mom as being one of mothering. I take the kids to activities. I feed them nutritious meals. I read to them, and I play with them. I encourage art and friendships and running around outside. I don’t put them in front of the television so I can scrub my counters. And it shows in my house. But I also think it shows in my children.

But as with all things in life, balance is required. I believe my pendulum has swung too far to one side, and I need to bring it back toward the middle. And that is where the idea of a homemaker came to me. But instead of making me woozy, this time the word inspired me.

See a home maker is simply one who makes a home. Anyone can make a home: man, woman, single, married, parent, nonparent. It is simply a person who spends part of his or her time creating a sanctuary, a place to inspire and to calm. It doesn’t have to be mindless although some aspects of it surely are. It can be creative, and it can be challenging, and it can require you to challenge yourself in ways you probably never realized.

The part that always troubled me about keeping my home is the idea that you don’t want to spend your children’s childhood scrubbing and soaking and missing out on all of the special moments. That is surely true. But the home your children grow up in will be a part of their memories just like everything else, and the lessons you teach them about taking care of their environment can really only be taught through modeling.

And so I have a newfound respect for the daunting tasks of endless laundry, meals, and vacuuming. I’m not wasting my time. I’m not being mindless. I’m not just doing busy work just because no one else will or can do it.

No, I am creating a home and a haven for my family. I am creating the setting to the stories they will tell. I am giving them a soft place to land and a canvas for their dreams. And I take pride in that.

So am I a homemaker? Most definitely. And I am proud of it.