My husband is participating in this amazing program happening at our parish and at Catholic parishes around the country. It’s called Exodus 90. He could explain the principles of it far better than I could, but the very basic concept is to try to strip away all that distracts us from virtuous living. It’s a plunge into asceticism as a path to holiness.
It goes much deeper than that, but you get the idea. He is a few weeks into it, and he has had to give up television, social media, non-work related technology, and warm showers amid a few other sacrifices all while adding good things like exercise, sleep, and increased prayer.
I give these men tremendous props. I wouldn’t have lasted five seconds in a cold shower, especially in this month of the polar vortex.
We don’t watch a whole lot of television in our house. My little ones will watch maybe an episode during the day, and all my kids are allowed a bit on the weekends. I don’t watch television during the day. TJ and I had a few programs we watched at night, but those have been gone except the one he is allowed to watch on Sundays.
The other night though I was exhausted, and I just didn’t have it in me to read or do something productive. I wanted to zone out in front of the television. So I did.
I chose Dr Phil.
I actually used to watch that show a lot when we had cable. I’m a wee bit embarrassed to admit that fact, but the truth is what it is.
So anyway, I watched a two part episode about an out of control teen daughter, and Dr Phil and his team’s rehabilitation of her. All in all, it was a pretty interesting episode, complete with yelling and threats and temper tantrums.
And I when it was over, I didn’t feel so good. I didn’t feel like I had been entertained. I didn’t feel relaxed of fulfilled. I just felt kind of gross.
I realized through this experience that my tastes had changed in just the few weeks I had been without television. The easy entertainment and cheap thrills felt like a waste of time. It felt shallow and empty. I felt less human after watching it more than more human. It was easier than reading a quality book, but easier wasn’t really worth it in this case.
I’ve been having similar experiences after our 45 minutes of Sunday viewing.
Along with all of this, I have been contemplating the role social media plays in my life. As a stay at home mom, for the longest time, it was my lifeline to the outside world. It was my reminder that someone else existed out there. It was a place to discuss ideas and be heard.
Lately though, for awhile to be honest, it hasn’t felt like that anymore. Instead it has felt aggressive and dark. Friendly debates don’t feel friendly – they feel angry and sometimes even mean. And even the things that I agree with tend to piss me off. Because emotional reactions get likes and shares, content creators are rewarded for making people angry. Those little angry symbols and likes give them more credibility in Facebook’s algorithms.
Part of the problem I see with the culture today is that we are driven by anger and divisiveness. And some of that is important because some of these issues need passionate supporters. But it seems that instead of those issues being a part of our lives, we have made them define us. And this isn’t good. This just leads us to neglect the things we have tremendous control over to convince people who have no control over anything that we are right. It makes us weak. It makes us ineffectual. It takes away our power to affect those aspects of this world we were meant to impact.
So I’ve been considering taking a break from Facebook for awhile. Probably for Lent. I feel the need to confess that this is scary for me. I’m ashamed that it’s scary because that means I’m too attached.
But when I think of the difference that four weeks away from television did to my taste in entertainment, I can only wonder at what forty days (Sundays are fair game) away from the drama of social media would do.
We are called to focus on what is good and true and beautiful. I do not believe that is most readily found on social media. I believe that is found out here in the real world where we can experience life first hand rather than through a filter. Where we can debate with people who are intimately connected with our humanity. Where we can join forces with others in real time and in real space to make real differences.
I won’t be giving up social media completely. I’ll still be posting on my blog’s facebook page because I can’t experience any of the drama through that page. I might still go on Instagram unless that gets to be too much. But I think it’s time I took a step away starting on Ash Wednesday.
What do you think? Do you think Facebook helps you live more fully and authentically or does it drown out your thoughts and your free time and leave you a receptacle of other people’s less than carefully articulated opinions?
I urge you to take the challenge with me! But if you do, make sure to sign up for my blog posts via email. Facebook bad, Indisposable Mama good.
God bless you my friends!