Good Enough

I have read and heard too many stories lately of children being sick, dying, or being abducted.  Whenever I hear such a story, I think of how the mothers must pray desperately each day to go back to the day before tragedy struck.  Whenever we have tragedy in our lives, the day before becomes powerful as we let the bad pass away and focus only on the good.

Obviously, the day before is only an illusion.  We ask ourselves why we didn’t realize just how perfect the day before was until it’s gone, but the reason we didn’t realize it was perfect is because it wasn’t perfect.  It was only real.

I’ve been thinking lately about what we judge our mothering on.  Mothering is a tough job because there aren’t job requirements and there aren’t clear metrics determining success.  I talk to mothers and I read what other mothers write and so often we are consumed by whether we are doing enough.  Are we reading enough?  Do we talk and play enough directly with our kids?  Is their food healthy enough?  Do they do enough or too many activities?

We have all of these questions constantly running through our brains because most of them are questions without any answers.  Mothering is about balancing these different priorities.  But that doesn’t mean there aren’t any answers to any questions at all.

Today, I was able to find an answer to my most pressing question about whether I am doing a good enough job.  I was driving in the car with the girls, and I heard constant, loud, and incredible laughter.  I thought back to this morning and the laughter they experienced at lunch and in the pool.  As I write this now, I am listening to their laughter as they have a nighttime snack with Daddy.

My girls are undeniably happy little people.  Happiness isn’t all there is to life, but it’s the place where so much good can come from.  It’s the stuff childhood should be made of.

And my girls know love and affection.  They are a huggy group.  They both give kisses incessantly.  Magoo writes that she loves us on every drawing that she does.  They give hugs to people without being asked.  They are kind to other kids.  My kids are able to give love because they have been shown love.

And to be honest, it’s hard to share those words.  It’s socially acceptable for moms to discredit themselves and share all of their failures.  But it’s not so common or even acceptable to share our successes even though we all have successes that far outnumber our failures.

So I ask you what have you succeeded at with mothering?  What are some things that make you feel like you have done an amazing job?  If you share it in the comments section or on Twitter, that would be awesome.  But if you don’t want to, that’s fine as well.  But please, do it in your own heart for yourself and for your children.  See the good in you just as you see the good in them.

You deserve it Mama!  You work hard for your kids.  You give them the very best of you.  What you give isn’t perfect because you aren’t perfect, but you are very good and what you give is very good.  Look at the smiles on their faces and the hugs in their arms and know that they have been blessed because they are loved by you.

And lest you think we are always happy and huggy, I give you the following outtakes from our St Patrick’s Day photo shoot.