Cup Half Full

God was daring me to me in a bad mood today.

Last night before bed, I had to take a pain killer to alleviate some of the nerve issues in my teeth, and I woke up this morning like a zombie.  I could barely even function I was so out of it.  When this happens, things usually go downhill very quickly.

Someone once told me why “bad days” happen.  He said that our minds create schemas of sorts.  Something bad might happen (perhaps we oversleep or miss the bus) and then our brain is stuck in this negative loop, so everything we see then is from this dark perspective.  Perhaps our spouse made us coffee, the kids made their beds, and it’s sunny outside.  Instead of seeing these things, we see the coffee cups that aren’t clean, the dirty laundry they left on the floor, and the much needed rain our plants won’t get.  The situations are the same, but we only see what we train our brains to see.  And our emotions follow suit.

This is how today happened.  I laid in bed for awhile while the girls played in their room, and then we went downstairs, and I made blueberry pancakes for breakfast.  We read some books, and I was able to drink a complete cup of coffee while it was still hot.  Then we had to run to the store, and I had a woman stop her car in the parking lot to tell me how cute my kids were.  Every time I came near the Goose today she would laugh hysterically, and she is starting to actually solicit laughs with her actions. And Magoo was being so kind to her sister all day.  At one point, they were sitting in the corner playing with a new toy together for about ten minutes, laughing the whole time.  I am so proud of how kind she is to babies.  Days like these are one the reasons I decided to be a stay at home mom.

But I didn’t recognize most of it at the time.  Instead of being happy that I made them a good breakfast, I lamented that their lunch wasn’t the greatest.  Instead of noticing the clothes I had put away, I noticed the ones that were left out.  I relished in their smiles, but inside, I remained like a dark storm cloud.

And I really do think God was trying to get me to see just how much my days are determined by my attitude.  What was I going to focus on?  The good or the bad?

We hear people talk all the time about how negative people can negatively influence our lives.  Experts tell us to only be in uplifting relationships, and they tell us to avoid negative people.  But perhaps the most negative influence at all is the one that can come from inside.

I like going on idealistic rants and daydream about saving the world, one illiterate soul at a time.  I’m a dreamer.  But days like today remind me that the biggest impact we can make, and the greatest chance for real change we have is within our very own hearts.  I can’t make the whole world smile, but I can smile and hope it rubs off on other people.  I can lead by my example.  And the first person I have to teach is myself.

In your life today, what events did you interpret as bad?  What was good?  Which did you spend the most time paying attention to?