I’m writing now because I have not been able to stop crying since I turned on the television at noon today. I feel dazed and shell shocked, and I’m not quite sure what else to do except write it all out. I’m walking into stores and preschool pickup with sunglasses to shield my tears from those around me. I feel utterly broken and totally numb.
I turn on the television and I see the utter devastation caused by one man filled with such evil and cowardice that he can walk into a room of kindergarteners, dressed in full body armor, and open fire on such little, helpless, and innocent bodies. And then I see the next scene of first responders who were willing to run into an unsecured building, with little regard for their own lives, to save those babies who were utterly helpless to save themselves.
And I wonder how two such diametrically opposed forces — evil and altruism, cowardice and selflessness — can coexist within the hearts of humanity.
Perhaps the only comfort that can be found today is that when those babies closed their eyes on Earth for the last time, they opened them and ran lovingly into the arms of their Heavenly Father where they never need to know fear or evil again. They are now perfect angels shielded from the broken humanity that we must all face day in and day out.
Sadly, that must be of little comfort to those Earthly mothers and fathers whose arms will always ache for hugs they will never again receive. And it must be of little comfort for those little bodies that were spared the shots but whose souls can never unlearn the lessons of evil they were taught today at much too early of an age.
Some days this world makes me sick.