I feel like my brain is atrophying as we speak. It’s just shriveling up into a sad, sad remnant of its past self. It’s lying there, half comatose, begging for just a little sip of water, a little sustenance, a little something to keep it going.
I miss being able to use my brain. I miss trying to solve problems and figure out solutions. I miss reading books (that don’t have pictures) and discussing them with people. I miss being busy and having ten different places to be in one day. I miss people asking me questions and having them actually listen to the answers.
I remember when we were deepest in the throws of infertility how my career would leave me feeling empty. All I wanted was to stay home and take care of babies. I wanted it so bad I could hardly breathe.
And now I have it, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Sometimes though, I just miss being a smart person. I miss the respect. And my brain surely misses the challenge.
My life is filled with hugs and love and sweet kisses. My heart is more full than I could ever imagine. I just wish my brain could say the same thing.