Big News

Nope – I’m not pregnant.  Sorry to disappoint.

But I do have big news.  Very, very soon, I am going to start writing a blog for Psych Central.  I think I have been too excited/nervous to share the news until now.

It’s not quite the New York Times, but it is exactly (exactly!) what I have been wanting for so long.

It’s no secret that I suffer from anxiety, obsessive/compulsive tendencies, and depression.  I’ve struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember, and I’ve struggled with depression off and on for a large portion of my adult life.

During the worst of these times, I would just sob, asking myself “Why me?  Why do I have to be saddled with these demons?”

And somewhere inside of me, even during those times, I knew the answer.  I have these struggles because I can share them.  The shame I do sometimes feel over these struggles isn’t enough to stop me from sharing my story.  And I have a story to share.  For all those nights I lied in bed feeling all alone, believing no one else ever experienced life in the same distorted way that I did, I could share my story and make others feel less alone.

I was straddled with these struggles because I could be a voice for the voiceless.  I could speak our truth.  I can assure that no one who reads my words ever has to feel alone in their anxieties or their panic or their depression.

We live in an awfully complex and sometimes frightening world.  We all have so much to contend with.  We have so much to overcome.  And really the only way to make it smaller and safer is to find others who are willing to understand us.

There are as many ways to do this as there are people.  My way to do it is through writing.

I’m still going to be blogging here and at Mothering and at Catholic 365.  I find each different venue gives me a place to voice different aspects of my story.  I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything.  But helping others is my passion, and I don’t know any other way to do it as well as through sharing my struggles with mood issues.

But I would like to honestly thank all of you.  When I started this blog I was sure no one would read it.  And then I was terrified that people would read it.

But you did read it.  And you continued to come back.  And I cannot tell you how much that has helped me and how much that means to me.  How it has strengthened me.  How it has fortified me for the challenges of life.  You helped me find my voice.  You helped remind me of who I am when I’m not mommy.  And you helped me find the confidence to come out from behind the rock, share my story, and refuse to be ashamed of my truths.

Please pray for me that I am able to be the voice that people need.  That my words can help someone.  That we can work together to make this world just a little smaller.

This is a dream of mine.  Thank you to all of you who gave me the courage to pursue it.