I’m testing out a new theory in my head. One that is based upon an unfortunate situation I found myself in today. I’d like to know what you think, whether it has any merit.
I was out back with the girls, and we were having a great time. They started out playing with the water table, and then they moved into the sandbox. They could spend hours in there.
I had our dog (a lab mix) on the side of the house on the long leash, but she’s a total baby when it comes to heat, and after about five minutes, she started jumping on the door which is her signal for wanting to go in.
I called her to me, and I released her from the leash. Normally, I hold her by the collar and bring her in the back door, but for one ill thought out delusional second, I had convinced myself that she would walk with me if I let her loose.
And then she took off. I don’t even know how she did this and whether she had it planned in the back of her mind just in case she should ever get this opportunity because she didn’t even take a quarter of a second to think about it. She simply ran. With wild abandon and a hint of insanity.
She ran over the hill, down to the street, and then she took off down the sidewalk and around the corner. I was the crazy lady in ill-fitting flip flops, running down the street screaming, “Quinn! Get back here NOW!” (In my head, I was saying some much less family friendly words.)
Perhaps I sounded frantic, and I was, but I was also really very angry at the dog. I didn’t know where she would stop, and she was always so close to the street that I was afraid she would cross at the wrong time, and I would have to try to get her bank account breaking emergency veterinary care while I was home alone with the girls. (A lot goes through your mind very quickly during such situations.)
Anyway, finally I saw a man probably in his mid-forties walking down the sidewalk. I said a prayer of thanks that finally someone would be there to stop her and help me. I started screaming, “Help me. Quiiiiiiiiin! Help me please, sir.” But the man did not help. He did not even remain neutral. Instead, he started doing more damage.
Let me preface this whole part by saying that Quinn was not barking, biting, showing her teeth, growling, or jumping. At one point, she was crouched by the man’s feet.
Instead of helping me, this man started screaming at the dog and trying to kick and hit her. He kept lunging towards her, prompting her to run even farther away. I kept running, screaming “Quinn,” thinking the man would help me or at least stop trying to push her further away, but no. He just kept lunging at her.
Before I got to them, he had apparently scared the dog enough, and luckily she started running towards me a bit more. But she’s fast and smart and mischievous, and she surely didn’t want this fun to end, so instead of running towards me, she took off towards a house where two men were talking outside, watching the man and his rage attack against my dog. I thought surely one of them would help me. She ran straight to them, and they started laughing. I screamed, “She’s not going to hurt you,” and they laughed and said, “We know.” And they did not make a single effort to help me. Luckily, she ran past them and got herself cornered between their doorway and the front of their house, and I was finally able to get her. I threw my forty pound, wriggling dog over my shoulder, said a few very angry choice words at her, and started marching towards home while they laughed in the background and my flip flop broke.
My first reaction was to go all Miss Hannigan on her ass and threaten to send her to the sausage factory, but instead I just threw her in her crate, and went back to the back yard, shaking, dripping with sweat, and incredibly angry.
And then I started thinking about the man again. I get where he was coming from. The dog is my responsibility, and I am the one who let her loose. Though we have her very well trained in her normal situations, apparently her training is not good enough to have her listen when she goes spastic like that. Again, that’s our fault and our responsibility.
And I understand that sometimes dogs attack. Even though Quinn wasn’t making a single aggressive movement towards him, it’s scary when a dog comes running near you like that. She could have been a rabid asshole dog who wanted to tear him to shreds… even though she was just crouching at his feet. Self preservation dictates that we take care of ourselves when faced with harm. I understand that.
But there’s another altruistic part of ourselves, isn’t there? People run in front of trains to save people who fall onto the tracks; trained and untrained people run into burning buildings to save people; people jump into the line of gun fire for complete strangers. Altruism does happen.
And so I’m testing out the theory of whether or not the true test of a person’s character can be judged in those split second decisions when we have to react either for others or for ourselves. Had the man had time to think about it, who knows what his reaction would have been. But in that instant, he made the decision towards rage and anger instead of help.
Obviously, most of our decisions are made when we have time to think about them, and the decisions we make during those times are very telling in terms of the type of person we choose to be and the values we choose to live by. But I think those times when we can’t think things through are the times when we have to just rely on our most intrinsically housed motives, and that’s when we can judge our truest and deepest character traits and the extent to which we will choose altruism over selfishness, choose community over individual, choose others over self.
What do you think? Do you think those split second decisions are meaningful judges of character or are we just reacting off of centuries worth of imprinting? Does altruism exist, or will we always choose self over others, and is it even beneficial to act altruistically in situations like those?
And Quinn, for your punishment, I am totally posting this picture on my blog for all to see…
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I love my own dog, so in that situation I hope I would have stopped to assess the dogs behavior and tried to help. I’ve been very lucky with the dog I have – going by my offspring, he had to have trained himself.
We had a similar issue with a neighbor down the street when our 14 pound Boston Terrier got loose. She freaked out and tried to climb a mailbox after kicking at him. I just don’t understand that mindset. Obviously if the dog is lunging and being aggressive or threatening, it’s different. But in this case, I’d have at least made an honest effort to grab the dog. It’s common decency.
Aww, what a pretty dog! She doesn’t look scary at all. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have tried to catch her. Not because I am an asshole, but because I know I can’t catch a fast dog, and I’d wind up looking like an idiot. Plus, even if the dog seems/is friendly, I’d prefer not to throw myself at random dogs. However, if she was about to run into traffic, that might change things.
The guy who freaked out = not cool. But I guess some people have dog issues and a right to be scared. However, he definitely doesn’t have a right to abuse your dog!!
First, I don’t know how anyone could be scared off by a lab. However, I will say that I do know a couple of people who are absolutely terrified of dogs and others who are incredibly allergic to dogs, so I would most likely give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he had a really terrifying experience as a kid? Who knows? Or maybe he was just suffering from PMS or PTSD? He shouldn’t be wailing on the dog though. That’s a little over the top.
PMS — haha, sometimes that makes me want to wail on my dog!! While I do think his response was cruel towards my dog, you are right that I don’t know what motivated it. I try to always keep that in mind. Sometimes I forget though.
I think it depends on the person and their history. Perhaps he isn’t a dog person and doesn’t know how to read them, or maybe he was attacked by a dog once, or maybe he’s generally a dick. lol. Who knows what his reasoning might be, but in general I think people will help others, and do – at least I like to think so.
Much like how Quinn took off when given a moment of freedom, I think the way the man responded was instinctual. Whether it was right or wrong, I can’t say. But I think he did what his gut told him. Just like how Quinn made a jail break when the shackles came off.
I do think it was instinctual. I’m on the fence after reading all of these comments. I’m not sure if my judgment was too harsh. Gives me something to think about 🙂
I don’t think that I would have been able to catch the dog so I probably wouldn’t have tried to catch her. I don’t think I would have made the problem worse or hurt your dog though. Interesting situation. Thanks for sharing. Erin
I thought most adults knew to stand still if a dog is running. If you jump around you rile them up more. Maybe they don’t know that. Kicking at the dog though? Not cool at all. Even if he didn’t want to help.
I would have stood there to see if the dog would be interested enough to stop running. If he or she seemed calm, then I’d grab the collar for you. I won’t get hurt for someone’s dog or put myself in danger, but if you’re yelling for my help I’d do what I could.
I have a lab – they are nuts. Glad you caught Quinn safely.
I don’t think I would have been brave enough to grab a collar — you are more brave than me. I just would have tried to pet her seeing as how she wasn’t acting aggressively. And yes!! Labs are nuts. They are the sweetest dogs on the planet, but they are a handful! Luckily mine is small.
This sounds like an episode of “What Would You Do?” I can just see John Quinones popping out from behind a tree asking the man what was going through his mind.
For my own part, I can’t imagine freaking out on a lab mix that looked like Quinn. I live in Arizona and we have many pit bulls here. If a pit bull was going nuts-o in my vicinity, I might think twice about helping, but I still wouldn’t kick and scream unless he was coming at me aggressively.
Anyway, glad you caught the dog. 🙂
Haha – I’ve always wondered if I would ever end up on that show. I kind of hope I don’t…
Hmm – I think there’s a couple of things here, I’d be more aggravated with the two guys who obviously weren’t freaked out at the dog running at them, and still chose to not help. My daughter is pretty phobic about dogs, and it’s completely irrational, so I can kind of understand not recognizing that the dog wasn’t going to eat him, he might have been really panicking. Although my daughter would have curled into a fetal position as opposed to attack…
I definitely was more annoyed with the laughing guys! And I get what you are saying about fear. I was panicked in the situation (and still practically shaking when I wrote the post) and I assumed the worst. He seemed much more full of rage than fear, but we can never know what is going on in another’s mind, and I should remember that.
Those laughing guys though…
I know plenty of people, big adults, who will purposely cross the street ig there is a dog in a yard or being walked n the same side as them because they were bit by a dog some time in their life. I have shooed away a dog with my foot before when the dog was not welcomed and not listening to their owner when called. Then again, one child of mine was bit by one and the other have been nipped (afterall, a child with food in the hand is an easy target for dogs who want a bite to eat).
I’m usually the making cooing noises because most often dogs like those are attention hounds (pun intended) and have got to seek attention from strangers. They will trade freedom for a good lick and some petting.
WG
http://itsmynd.com
You have my dog’s personality down — she would give up her legs for affection. Sometimes I joke that she would be happiest if I would just carry her in a baby sling on my back all day long!
My dog ran across the street one day, towards another Lab… it was so sudden and so not like her! She could have got hit by a car, or not welcomed by the other dog! Ever since then she is on a short leash when I leave the house to take her with me inside the car! Dogs are animals and we always have to be on guard (and having treats with you at all times out of the house helps, I always have treats in my pocket, and plastic bags for doggie business!). I’m glad it worked out for you and no one got hurt! (I’m not on the grid this week, FYI.)
You know, someone just told me about keeping treats for such situations. I had never thought of that because it has never been an issue before, but it’s a great idea to keep them by the door just in case. My dog is a sucker for any treat 🙂 It’s probably also a good idea for when I go for walks around the neighborhood with her. That way if I would somehow drop the leash, I would have something. And I’m already lugging the poop bags anyway.
Your dog crouched at his feet and was not being malicious in anyway?? If someone was lunging or kicking at my dog who had done NOTHING, I would want to kick that guy’s ass. And would have yelled at him. I can understand being afraid of a dog, but there is no reason to kick or shove a dog. I vote the guy is a dick and you had enormous restraint not yelling at him.
I was too busy yelling at my dog to bother yelling at anyone else 😉
Thanks for the comment!
This post is giving me flashbacks to the time I was chasing my dog down the street while he chased after a squirrel. In sandals, hungry baby under my arm, ridiculously milk-filled boobs flopping everywhere. It was awful. But unlike you I had several people stop and help.
That was exactly my situation minus the leaky boobs — the Goose has been weaned. I hope your flashbacks ease soon; mine will be with me for years lol!
I do think we find out some of the truth of our character in those moments of decision, although I’d like to think we’re not solely to be judged on those moments! At least, I would hope not. I do understand people have strong reactions to dogs, but still…
Yes! I surely hope we aren’t solely judged based on those situations! I would be out of luck and out of friends 🙂
I would help someone if they were going to get hit by a train or if a little child was going to get hit by a car…if that’s what you mean by altruism.
Why on earth would I risk getting attacked by a strange dog?? I would never do that, it’s simply not a smart idea.
I think I respectfully disagree with a little bit of what you said. Yes, by far someone getting hurt from a car or train is a much more serious situation than anything that could happen to a dog. I definitely agree with that. And yes, that is what I mean by altruism — putting someone else’s needs and well being before your own.
And I can get behind why you wouldn’t choose to help in that situation. I do see what you are saying. What I disagree with is that it’s definitely a bad idea. I see altruism as doing something to help another when there is no pay back to you at all. Here, there surely isn’t any payback, and you are right that even though she wasn’t acting aggressive, she’s a strange dog, and as such, there is always a risk. But sometimes, we can take a risk to help someone just because sometimes we need help ourselves, and we would like someone else to do the same in the same situation. We don’t need to. We surely aren’t bad people if we don’t. We might be smarter NOT to help. But that doesn’t mean it’s always a bad decision and something we shouldn’t ever do.
What do you think?
A forty pound dog is nothing to sneeze at – and I have to admit that while I wouldn’t try to scare her, I don’t think I’d jump in to help catch her either. A friend of mine tried to once (and he’s a pretty big guy!), and he was knocked over onto the sidewalk and hit his head. He spent the rest of the day in the emergency room just to be sure.
I agree with other people who said that they’d be more annoyed with the two laughing guys.
That’s horrible that your friend was hurt that badly by a runaway dog. That surely would probably lead you to think twice next time you see a loose dog.
And yea, I was most annoyed with the two laughing men. Even if they didn’t help, the laughing just made me feel like a fool. Haha – then again I looked like a COMPLETE fool so I’d probably be laughing too!
yeah… I would have been more annoyed with the two laughing guys. Honestly. I would have probably run yelling… away. because – even though I have a dog – I am still worried about dogs that are running in my direction. dunno. But I would help a kid in a heartbeat. Glad you got her back ok!
I love your revenge photo of Quinn. Too funny.
My dogs run away all the time, but they are also 20 pounds, so no one is going to be intimidated by them. I always try to help someone who is chasing after a dog, because I’ve been there.
People are odd. They have weird hangups and phobias. We had a golden retriever and one day we were walking her and a woman asked us nonchalantly if our dog was nice (she was). When we let the dog walk towards her, she freaked out and yelled that she was afraid of dogs. So, then, maybe don’t go out of your way to engage them? Just walk on by.
I’m glad everything turned out ok!
That’s quite odd. I’ve heard many stories of people asking if they could pet a dog and when the owner says, “no, it’s not safe,” they don’t listen any try to pet the dog anyway. Sometimes you have to wonder…
You are very sweet to be so understanding about that man quite frankly I think he is an ASS. Your Quinn is sooo gorgeous.
Thank-you 🙂 I understand possible fear; that can be strong and overwhelming. It just bothered me because it seemed much more like rage than fear.
I love your revenge photo! I’m sure Quinn is dying of embarrassment and will never run away again.
Let’s hope!
That guy was a jerk, no two ways about it. A Lab is not to be feared. They love everyone. I had one, and would have one still if she hadn’t died of old age. That said, I’m afraid I’ll have to play devil’s advocate a bit. Labs are incredibly easy to train. But, it takes time, effort and patience. They want only to please. I guess yours is not trained. I don’t care how old he is, put some time into it. He won’t run off like that if you put some effort into it. They need and want boundaries. Good luck! He’s worth it!
I agree that much of our nature can be determined in those moments of quick reaction, but people also regret some of those decisions, so it can be hard to judge a person … but I wouldn’t want that man near me if I was about to get hit by a train … he would do anything to save himself rather than help 😉
I think the angry man and the laughing men showed their true selves. I would have immediately helped you. But, I remember when I was young, walking my dog an elderly woman immediately became agitated and asked me to put a leash on my dog. I was offended, but then I learned she had been in a concentration camp and the soldiers used dogs to keep them in line. Life experiences surely color our reactions.
Wow that is horrible about that woman. It does go to show you that you can’t assume another person’s motives. That’s what I really try to do in these situations. Obviously (like in this case) I fail to do that.
Hah the revenge photo is awesome!
Truth be told, if a dog was running towards me with a hint of crazy in her eye, I’d probably end up running away. Though that’s a bad move right, it just makes them chase you, no?
Clearly, not a dog expert.
Haha — yea, running away makes it a challenge for the dog. They are kind of like toddlers in that sense 😉
We had a dog growing up that looked just like this and she always ran away!
I can tooootally relate. My dog will take off the second she sees an opening too — a husky/greyhound mix. She’s insane.
You must have a gorgeous dog! I always wanted a husky, but we just don’t have room for one at this point. Hopefully one day 🙂
haha – that’s a way to get even. Pink bunny ears will get them every time.
Seriously though – what is wrong with people?? It’s terrible that no one offered to help you. I do thing split second decisions relate to the type of person someone really is.
I’m glad you liked the bunny ears 🙂