Babying My Baby

It’s midnight, and I’m exhausted. It has been a long day in the middle of a long week, and I want to lay my head down on the pillow and drift away into my own world of make believe. But I can’t because the Goose is up… Again.

I pick her up and rock her for the third time this evening back and forth, back and forth in the rocker. For the first couple of minutes, she’s restless, bouncing her head this way and that. I sing “To Make You Feel My Love,” to her. It seems to calm her, but it doesn’t put her to sleep.

And then all of a sudden I’m made aware of how our bodies fit together. I’m wrapped around her and she has her head resting on my chest, her little fist clutching my sleeve and bringing it to her nose. I notice the rhythmic sound the recliner makes as we rock, and I notice that with where her head is, my heart is probably keeping time with the rocker in her ear. She’s awake, but she’s completely at peace.

And I will sit here and continue to rock her, regardless of how long it takes, until she can peacefully drift off to dreamland.

And this is something I do with pride. I baby my babies. Because sometimes it’s past midnight, and I can’t sleep. And maybe I’m alone with my thoughts or my anxieties. And I want someone to make it all better. But I’m a grown up and people need to get up for work in the mornings. So I let them sleep, and I try to metaphorically rock myself to sleep, but it doesn’t work. Because I’m a grownup and grownup peace doesn’t come that easily.

So when the Goose needs to be rocked or held or comforted, I’ll be there. Because she needs to become independent. But not tonight. Tonight she needs to be held.

19 thoughts on “Babying My Baby”

    1. Thanks for visiting. I appreciate the comments 🙂 I’ll be sure to stop on over at yours!

  3. I actually love staying up late, rocking my baby, too when she is not feeling well. I didn’t like it so much when she was a newborn, but now I love it! Especially since I know it won’t last forever.

    1. Yea – it’s MUCH more enjoyable when it’s not all night every night like the first few weeks 🙂

  4. Great post…so honest 🙂 I love honest posts. What a beautiful little one you have…and what gorgeous love you have <3

    Thanks for linking up to First Day of My Life's Thankful Thursday <3

    1. Thanks for visiting and your kind word. I’ll definitely be linking up again!

  5. This is so beautiful and sweet. I remember those sleepless nights so well. And also those moments of clarity where you see how small they are now, but how fast they are growing. Found you through a thursday link up. Happy to be your newest member.

    1. Thanks for the visit and the comment! I’m about to go over and check out yours 🙂

  6. So beautifully written: and a much-needed reminder. I had a similar epiphany last night: singing a lullaby to my 2-year-old. He looked up at me with these to-die-for eyes: “Sing it one more time”… and I did. “One more time…”, and so on several times over. He was so peaceful, and I was so ready for bed. And then I thought: Remember this. Enjoy it, because he’s not going to want me to sing to him forever. Ahhhh, what a gift!

    1. Yes! That’s exactly how I felt. Just reading what you said, brought a tear to my eyes. It’s busy and stressful and a bit chaotic, but it is oh so priceless and precious.

  7. What a beautiful post! Thanks for linking up with Thought for Thursday at the Elf House! I invite you to come back and link up every week!

    1. Thanks for visiting and taking the time to comment. I’ll definitely be back next week!

    1. Thanks 🙂 Luckily we have managed to get back on the right track with sleep!

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