So I’m sitting in a hotel room writing this from my phone. Yes, I am in a hotel again, and yes, it is due to mice.
I try to be brave.
On Monday, I knew there was one in my living room. We kept out of the house all day, but when TJ got home at night, I went back in and spent the night in the house.
When I woke up Tuesday morning to a dead mouse in the living room, I stayed calm and I got the girls out. Again, once TJ got home, I stayed in the house.
But when I woke up today to what I believe is a mouse under my couch… Well I couldn’t be brave any longer. We had Hilton points, and so we packed up and went to the Hilton.
I’m not proud of this, but I’m trying not to be ashamed either.
Because we all have fears.
We all have faults.
We don’t live in a little bubble where we can control everything.
For better or worse, anxiety will be the back story to my life. It has improved and it hopefully will continue on that path, but still, it’s there.
I try to fight it.
I try not to let it limit my world.
I try to stand strong against its sometimes gale force winds.
But sometimes the fight gets to be too much. Sometimes I have to lay down my weapons and sleep behind the safety of my armor. Sometimes in order to win the war, I have to surrender the battle.
Sometimes self care has to win.
And that’s what I’m hoping to remember from this experience. Most days, fighting will benefit us the most, but some days our wary bodies need to sleep.
Tonight I will sleep well.
